Christmas trees and hurricanes
by endless blue skies
Summary: Post 4.11 Blair Waldorf is not a hurricane or a whirldwind like Serena van der Woodsen. Blair Waldorf doesn't spin and spin and spin. She takes and takes and takes until you're left with nothing.


This was actually supposed to be a Christmas-y fic but it ended up being all drabble-y and sad. So here ya'll go.

There's the introduction. It's a simple equation. The blonde and him and it's love and he's sure that this time it's going to be alright.

He thinks of the girl with the golden hair and long legs, he thinks of the way she laughs and spins and spins and spins until he's the one dizzy from watching because it's a hurricane with her and he doesn't know what to do. He loses his breath at just the thought of the whirlwind they've gone through.

_I wasn't wrong to believe in you, I always will._ He tells her and realizes how long always is but he doesn't think about taking it back. He thinks about how it's going to be forever with Serena because she picked _him_. Not Nate. Not Nate with his sparkling blue eyes and bronze hair and easy smile. No. _Not Nate_.

Here's the problem. She's gone, off to find a way to clear her head and her name and she's all he thinks about and he thinks he's going to go crazy being alone in the city with the last person he expected to be stuck with.

The brunette constantly drives him insane with her snarky remarks and know-it-all attitude but somehow he enjoys her company.

Blair comes over for the first time with a box of Christmas decorations telling him that the loft is as awful as his wardrobe and that it needs something to light it up. He tilts his head to the side when she pushes one box into his arms and then proceeds to survey the loft.

"Are you too poor to even actually afford a tree?" she shot at him with a confused expression on her face. Despite the fact that Rufus and Lily are already married and he's practically part of one of the richest families in the Upper East Side she doesn't seem to quite understand that he's not poor.

"No, Blair. I'm just busy. Getting some of my writing done." He holds up a Moleskine notebook Jenny bought him last Christmas. He pretends he doesn't know the real reason she's there because the normalcy of the situation would include only him, some coffee and wasted notebook paper. Blair Waldorf barging in was not even close to the line of normalcy. "Since i'm a writer, remember?"

She's there because of the latest blast.

(_Spotted: C in New Zealand looking festive with two red heads in his arms. Who needs Santa when you're Chuck Bass?_)

He closes his eyes and frowns. "You can brood about how Serena will find someone better than you later. Were buying you a tree." she tells him and she snaps and snaps and snaps at him until he wants to break everything around him. He wants to tell her he understands how she's scared, how Chuck doesn't deserve her (how he doesn't deserve Serena). But just because Chuck acts that way doesn't mean Serena will too. (Because she picked him. _Him_. Dan Humphrey. Not Nate or Colin. Him. _Not Nate_.)

Dan watches Blair with her glassy eyes roaming around the room and then focusing on him as if they were begging him to help her forget just for awhile. That's why he grabs his coat and sighs.

Blair comes over almost everyday when she's not trying to make her name in the city or crying over Chuck, he knows this because of Dorota who Blair sometimes drags along to help them decorate. On some days Dorota brings her baby.

Dan holds Anastasia the way he held Milo and it reminds him of the late nights trying to put him to sleep and the restless mornings with Georgina yelling at him to buy some weirdo slimming pills. The feeling overwhelms him so much he even misses the sound of crying. He almost wants to laugh everytime Blair yells at him to drop the baby and help her hang the stockings by their non-existent fireplace.

Blair joins him one time while Anastasia is lying down on the sofa and Dorota is making them some hot chocolate.

"Ofcourse you'd be good at this." she tells him and he's not sure if it's an insult or a compliment. He smiles at her as she takes Anastasia in her arms and coons into the baby's ear.

Falling action. It happens one night when she yells at him because the fucking lights aren't supposed to be hung that way and why did he even buy shitting tinsel because it looks cheap so he kisses her by the orange glow of the Christmas lights.

And she kisses him back.

But there's a catch. Ofcourse. There's always a catch. She can't be seen with him and she says it never happened so she never stops by anymore and doesn't call him back but he catches her one day in the park and he throws a snowball at her back. When she turns around Blair shoots him a glare icier than the snowball.

"Are you going to keep hiding?" he yells angrily, tossing another snowball towards her direction it lands next to her feet.

He doesn't care about the look on her face or how his heart won't stop beating in his chest. He throws another snowball.

"You throw like a girl!" she tells him.

"Answer me, Blair!" he screams every feeling supressed in him for the past few days. How he hates her, wants her, likes her. He doesn't fucking care about Gossip Girl anymore or Chuck or Serena. He cares about Blair and how she's fucking hiding from him after kissing him back. (Because she did. She _did_ kiss him back.)

She bites her lip and looks away. "I don't know what you're talking about, Humphrey." He throws another snowball. It hits her face this time, perfectly on her cheek. "Are you fucking crazy?"

It doesn't occur to him that she's Blair Waldorf. The girl he never liked, Serena van der Woodsen's best friend. Chuck Bass' whatever, Nate Archibald's ex girlfriend. But he runs to her and places his hands on her cheeks and kisses her and kisses her like there's no fucking tomorrow.

And she kisses him back yet again.

Climax. He stands by a tree in Central Park, waiting for the blonde because he can't sit. He's all jittery because he's going to see her again and because she doesn't know that he's technically with Blair and he doesn't know how to tell her.

When he does, Serena slaps him and yells at him. He can see her holding back tears as she says_ I love you_ in a way Serena has never sounded like before. She begs him and asks him why. He says he doesn't know why either.

Chuck finds out when he comes back home. He has someone beat up Dan even though it doesn't make sense because Dan knows Chuck and Blair aren't together anymore.

It ends on a warm Sunday night in the loft when Blair cries and tells him she hates him because he's not a prince charming and what they have isn't love. He tells her she's no princess. She breaks and tosses some plates in his direction before she leaves and doesn't look back.

He slumps in his chair and leaves the pieces on the floor while he keeps his gaze fixated on them. He regrets it all and wishes she comes running back into the loft so she can fall into his arms like many times before but Blair has her pride and he can't come running after her knowing that she'll never forgive him.

He calls Serena and tells her it's over. Serena says sorry and hangs up on him because she hasn't forgiven him either.

It's not a simple equation anymore. It's just him with no blonde or brunette. It's a complicated formula that can't be solved. He doesn't know what to do and no one else will answer him. He grabs his notebook and starts writing about what if's and maybe's.

Conclusion. Blair Waldorf is not a hurricane or a whirldwind like Serena van der Woodsen. Blair Waldorf doesn't spin and spin and spin. She takes and takes and takes until you're left with nothing.

And now he's left with nothing but the broken pieces she had left him and he's not talking about the plates.


End file.
